baby jesus butt plugs and midget schlongs
Thursday, March 01, 2007
11:57 a.m.
I just purchased a book called “The Baby Jesus Butt Plug: A Fairy Tale” from Amazon. Thank you Melanie for cluing me into such literary genius. I will honor everyone with a full report and critique immediately upon completion. I can do better than Sweet Valley High.
Also, I forgot to mention this before: I thought I’d have to lower myself to watching midget porn to see a naked midget. But oh no, you can see Weeman’s dingle in Jackass 2. I don’t know how I’ve lived 29 years without seeing a naked midget. What a sight.
- “I’m sorry, I don’t work here…”
- A Seinfeldian Experience
- A very important matter
- baby jesus butt plugs and midget schlongs
- Bad boys and girls
- Bad Wedding Songs. Stop it Now.
- Bananas
- bathroom etiquette and the courtesy flush
- boring business stuff. seriously, don’t waste your time.
- Break Shit
- Broken Windows and Shattered Dreams
- catawampus and solipsistic
- cry for everything bad that’s ever happened
- Damn it feels good to be stupid and bitchy.
- Don’t make a move with your gat so soon cuz I drops bombs like platoons.
- ENOUGH with the WHISTLING and the TALKING!
- Everyone says I hate you. Because it’s true. UPDATE*
- For the first time ever, a “real time” blog.
- freaking out freaking out freaking out. I AM FREAKING OUT.
- Friday Oddities
- Fuck you people – the hate catch-up blog
- Holiday Wiikend and the Restoration of My Constant Bitching
- I am such a liar
- I don’t live here anymore. (Goodbye Part Deux)
- I hate myself for loving you
- I hate work.
- I Just Want Something I Can Never Have
- I should have majored in math.
- I will miss the slacking.
- I’m in a good mood, so this is probably boring.
- I’m so irritated I could murder someone.
- it’s a wonderful life
- Just another broken cog in The Machine, and another peon to annoy the bejesus out of me.
- Let the sun set on this miserable day and sink Natomas
- los días de ningún trabajo
- Maddox is my new hero
- Meet Perfect Girl
- No one is perfect. Even I take a break sometimes.
- Perfect Girl Alone Again…Naturally
- Perfect Girl Fields Yet Another Shitty Call
- Perfect Girl Strikes Back
- Perfect Girl Wins Again
- Photoshop Phun
- reason #233 why I should be fired
- Reasons 422 and 423 why I should be fired.
- Right now
- Robots in Disguise
- Seinfeld Vs. Curb Your Enthusiasm
- Selfish bitch takes a vacation
- Shameless Technology Whore
- She Wants Revenge…and so do I
- She’s back with a vengeance. The inevitable return of perfect girl
- Six Things I Hate About the Holidays
- Stop searching. Happiness will come to you.
- Superbowl Wiikend
- That’s what you get, you selfish monopoly.
- The Banana Guard
- The Continued Misadventures of Perfect Girl
- The Continuing Saga of Why I Hate Working
- The Supreme Reign of Walter
- Things I Learned Today
- This is the end…
- This is why I hate mail.
- to my neighbor
- to the mysterious midnight caller
- Today I am a Murderer
- walking the mile, walking the mile, walking the green mile…with Sweet Valley, CA
- What is that SMELL?
- White Castle
- Who Puked in Macy’s?
- Why today already sucks
- Wiikend Recap
- Work
- work is murder, perfect girl buried under avalanche of stress
- you dropped the bomb on me…or did you?
#1 by carymc - March 22nd, 2008 at 11:23
Are their schlongs midget too, or normal size? I’ve always wondered.
Being a midget would suck. I would kill myself. Everyone would say, “Oh that poor dead midget killed himself. Can you blame him? I bet he had a little midget wiener too.”
#2 by Elisabitch - March 24th, 2008 at 14:20
I recall that it was a smaller schlong than “normal size”, but what do I know about midget schlongs? Next to nothing. And it was flaccid, so who knows what a beast it could become?