Friday, February 23, 2007
12:08 p.m.

I’m currently on hold with Capital One, regarding some invalid charges to my account.

I paid my bill on 12/24 as required, but they charged me a late fee anyway, like the bloodsucking monsters they are, those credit card companies. I called like the dutiful consumer I am, and persuaded them to credit me for the late fee AND the finance charge they added on to the late fee. Bloodsucking monsters. I’d paid the fee before I called, not wanting any outstanding balance on my card. Despite the million dollars I owe in medical treatment, I want to retain what good credit I can. So with my payment, and their reversal of the charge, I had a negative balance. I used this card to purchase items that totalled about $3-4 LESS than the credit, which means that I owe nothing. Apparently the bloodsucking monsters didn’t record the late fee reversal, so I now have an unnecessary balance of like $27.

While I was writing everything above, an idiot customer service representative from India put me on hold, and then my call was disconnected. Fucking outsourcing bullshit. I just called again and spoke to another representative from India, who made me repeat my account number TWICE. I hung up on her. It’s like a drive-thru window: If they fuck up on the order from the beginning, get out and go somewhere else, it can only get worse from there – either you don’t get what you want, or you eat spit and snot. Same thing here. If she can’t manage to record my account number properly the first (or second) time, forget it, I’m out.

Now I’m on hold with Shaneequa, Miss Ghetto-America. The important thing to remember through all of this is that I’m not prejudiced or racist, and I don’t discriminate against anyone. I hate and discriminate against EVERYONE. If you’re from Capital One India or wherever the fuck, or if you are from West Virginia or Louisiana, I don’t care. If you sound like a fucking retard who can’t string a sentence together, I will be judging you in my head, and gesturing disparagingly to whoever else is in the room with me. Because you suck and you’re a fucking idiot.

I’m still on hold with Shaneequa. OOh she’s back. And she just fucking hung up on me, that fucking cocksucking whore hung up on me. I explained the exact situation as listed above, and she didn’t quite understand why I would have a negative balance. I asked to speak to a supervisor, and she fucking hung up on me. Why the fuck should such a simple motherfucking call take all fucking day? I should be cleaning now! It is now 12:26pm, and the time I started this blog is 12:08pm. Which means that the last 20 minutes have been a fucking waste of time.

Oh god, now I’m back with the outsourced indian (probably a different one) and she is saying that the late fee is not showing, but the finance charge is. Now she is consulting a supervisor. Why the fuck would they reverse the finance charge associated with the late fee, but NOT THE LATE FEE? That makes no sense, and I refuse to pay this. I’m on hold again, waiting to speak directly with the supervisor. Still on hold, 12:37pm. One could argue that I could be  cleaning instead of wasting time on meaningless bloggery, but this is keeping me sane, and I may need to access my online statement again. Fucking bullocks and fucking curses. Oooh, it’s ringing.

So the fucking idiots at Capital One did not record the reversal of the late fee, so everything I purchased thereafter WAS subject to charges.  She acted like she was doing me a favor by reversing the charge again, even though they should have reversed it over a month ago. And now I still owe $9.32 for some charge at Target for $10.75. What the fuck did I buy at Target for $10.75? Assholes. Whatever, it’s a small price to pay for justice and and for getting out of the late fee and finance charge that I probably deserved in the first place. Thank you Jenii (pronounced Jen-NAY), ID#YPB964, in case I have to follow up on this nonsense AGAIN. Issue resolved at 12:46pm. I am off to pay my fucking $9.32 and clean. What a waste of 40 minutes. Bloodsucking monsters.