Wednesday, February 07, 2007
7:01 p.m. 

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my last blog, or emailed me after my giant neurotic brain dump. I feel much better about my situation. (Melanie, I’m not trying to copy you, it just happened.)

However, when I utilized my list and called my old job (that I hate, in case you forgot), I spoke with the exec. director who was very helpful, as usual, but then he transferred me to my dreaded ex-supervisor. Who I hate. In case you forgot. The following is for her, which I will use to adapt a letter after my application is complete.

I hate you, I hate you, forever, I hate you. It’s been more than two years, and one conversation reminded me of the seething hatred I still have for you. How you manage to survive without drowning in your own stupidity is beyond me. Why someone hasn’t scratched your big dumb eyes out is a mystery. The fact that you can muster up the faintest trace of acumen to subtly ridicule me would almost be impressive if it wasn’t so infuriating, coming from a retarded hog such as yourself. You just wait until I have the materials I need. I will not hesitate to write a “strongly worded letter”  that will knock what little self-esteem you may have left from being dumped (GOD I HOPE YOU WERE DUMPED) by that blood-sucking loser, out of your gigantic, mutant nostrils. I cannot list all the horrible things that I wish would befall you, for fear of Rupert Murdoch’s minions dragging me away and locking me up for threatening someone’s life. But I will say that I have an ex-boyfriend who deserves to have a tree crash through his house while he’s in the bathroom taking a dump, a rabid dog to bite his dick off, or maybe a jilted lover to kill herself and frame him for her murder. If both of you were drowning and I could only save one of you, I would save him without even thinking about it. I fucking hate you that much. The day you came back from Rite-Aid and told us that you puked all over yourself, we made disgusted faces and laughed at you as soon as you went to your office. If one of us had done it, there would only be sympathy. But because it was you, it’s just too bad you didn’t slip or choke on it, you vile, repulsive cunt. We stifled our laughter every time you made up words like “electronical” or “interpretate” in mixed company, or said things like “we don’t have that no more,” like you did on the phone today. There is only one thing I hate more than idiots, and that is an idiot who won’t admit she is an idiot. Fuck you, fuck you, forever, fuck you.