Wednesday, January 10, 2007
12:05 p.m.

I’m interrupting my work day to theorize on the ways of business.

This is an issue that has been dealt with before, but why is it that as soon as the receptionist leaves, I get all the bullshit calls? Seriously. I always get this guy: “Can I speak with D___ W______?” “He is no longer with the company, since last year.” “Well, can I speak to someone about development of a ________ _________ for a __________?” And of course no one has replaced D_____ W______ since he left.

The highlight of my bullshit phone answering was getting a call for one of the managers, who was unavailable, and the guy needed contact information, which I happily provided because he was courteous and patient. He said, “I think the name starts with a W, but you know what, [company name] may be contracted under someone else, so they may not even be able to help me. That’s gay. I don’t know; just give me _______’s number.” HA! An engineer from the City of [city name] referred to something as “gay.” What does this say for the evolution of business protocol?

Lastly, I’ve been observing the phone mannerisms of our division manager, let’s call him Barry Lyndon. Every time he calls someone he says, “Hey, [name], Barry Lyndon. How are you?” Every time I call someone I say, “Hi, this is [my name] from [company name].” Like any other peon. You can see the distinction. What causes the casual demeanor exhibited in Barry’s voice when he calls someone? Is it confidence that he is some kind of celebrity because he’s the manager and everyone knows who he is, and needs no further introduction? Someday, I want to be advanced enough in my profession to need no further introduction. Everybody wants to be somebody. I’d be happy not being nobody.