Thursday, January 04, 2007
8:12 a.m.

My coworker is so fucking annoying. Every time I see him, I want to break a toddler’s arm off, hit him with the bloody stump, and poke his eyes with deadened toddler fingers. That’s how much it affects me. This morning I was watching a video (yes, I should be working, what’s your point?) and he passed by and said, “is that on itunes?” I’m usually pretty quick with the Alt+Tab so I guess I didn’t notice him soon enough. What is wrong with people? Are they stupid? Let’s bring more attention to my inappropriate use of company resources and blatant slacking. Thank you, clueless fucktard. That’s as infuriating as the people that make retarded OBVIOUS observations like “Oh, you’re on MYSPACE.” Yell louder, I don’t think the client in the lobby heard you. Because I don’t suck, I’m much more subtle when I catch someone deviating from their workload. All it takes is a whispered, “What are you looking at? Send me the link.” or “That looks boring. Look at something else. Loser.” (yeah, like I’m really that badass.)

I hate myself for being so affected by others, but in this micro-environment there is no alternative.

Also, I heard “Good Times” by CHIC during my morning commute. You know, “Good times…these are the good times…” (These are NOT good times.) It is just so bad that I listened to it. All my other options were exhausted due to commercials, talk radio, and the tedium of my CD. So I suffered through. It was like an audio car wreck. I couldn’t stop listening. That song is retarded. I felt lame and guilty just listening to it. Check out these lyrics:

“Boys will be boys, better let them have their toys
Girls will be girls, cute pony tails and curls”

WHAT? What does that even MEAN? No wonder both genders are so objectified in our society, with crappy presumptuous lyrics like that.