Monday, December 04, 2006
7:34 a.m.

I am already in a pissy mood for the following reasons:

1) Why does she keep talking as if I’m going to respond? I cannot stand cube monkey neighbors with loud raucous voices who: A) ramble nonsensical questions like “WHAT TIME IS IT?” (look at your toolbar, genius. There’s something called a CLOCK, which measures TIME. There’s also a GIANT CLOCK on the wall right in front of us.) B) butt into conversations to which they were not invited. “YOU’RE GOING TO CARL’S JUNIOR? WHERE’S THE NEAREST CARL’S JUNIOR?” The lesson: Just because we can hear each other’s every word does not mean we should acknowledge it, unless we have a pre-established rapport with the person(s) speaking. I will not acknowledge the loud raucous voice unless I, specifically, am addressed.

2) Are you there God, it’s me Margaret. Are you sure we’re not Jesus-killing Jews? My mother is angry with me because I missed Thanksgiving and didn’t call her. She made it known that she cried all four days of the holiday weekend and that I’m very selfish. Ummm…that’s horrible and makes me feel like a giant turd. That’s her intention. I am selfish, and probably should have called, but goddamn. To this, I have three responses: A) I love my mommy very much, but how fucking passive-aggressive can you be? I mean, throwing a guilt-trip and practically ignoring me all weekend while showering my niece and nephew with constant attention is not the way to solve anything. I think she’s mad at my sister Lisa, too. Surprise. B) The phone lines work both ways. Why didn’t she call me if it was such a fucking trauma? C) Do I have to squeeze out a fucking child before I count for anything? Are my educational pursuits not important? I didn’t choose to take a difficult and important exam right after a major holiday weekend, I had to. My studying paid off, though, and I did very well on my verbal and hopefully writing (don’t even ask about math). But that doesn’t matter because she can’t hold and spoil my test scores and possibly a graduate degree.

3) This party that I’m supposed to go to was originally scheduled for this weekend, and has now been rescheduled to next weekend. Next weekend I’m supposed to go to Salinas for some pre-holiday hoopla with my sisters and my mom. You know, the mom that currently hates me? So now, since I’m still a selfish child and refuse to miss out on any fun, I’m going to try to do the Salinas thing and come back in time for the party. We all know what a reaction that will get. Seriously, every fucking weekend – not much happens. Why the hell does something I’ve been looking forward to absolutely have to occur the ONE weekend I committed myself to some family extravaganza out of town? WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously. Does anyone have advice on how to proceed in this situation in a way that allows me to do both without pissing everyone off?

4) And today I think I have to organize the library at work. Barf.