Monday, September 18, 2006
8:38 p.m.

Yes, I admit it. These fucking myspace surveys. I love them. And I hate myself for it. Unless they contain hideously personal questions that I refuse to answer (i.e: who’s the fourth person you ever slept with. Why would I answer that?) I will complete and repost. I’m a narcissist and I’m needy. It’s a compulsion. I may need help. I’m taking the time now, on a Monday night, through my sporadic illegal internet connection, to post this. I’m hungry and a little bored, and I don’t want to finish cleaning. So I’m completing a stupid survey. This is slightly better than playing fucking minesweeper.

What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Nothing. For once, my car is clean-ish. Except for the trunk, please don’t look in the trunk.

What was the last thing you threw up?
I don’t remember – I was hungover. Probably vodka and saltines.

Menthol or regular cigarettes?
Yuck, neither. I haven’t smoked in months.

What is your favorite episode of Friends?
That show is lame. Unfortunately, I’m lying. I have the first three seasons on DVD. I don’t have a favorite episode.

Does anyone have any blackmail on you?
Technically, yes.

If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
If any celebrity could marry me, who would it be? That’s the real question.

Have you been to a strip club?
No. I want to go though.

Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
There is some pink lotion here from Bath and Body Works (Thanks Jess!)

Are you wearing socks right now?
No.

What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water.

What are you wearing right now?
A shirt and pants. I’m still in my work clothes.

Last food you ate?
A peanut butter sandwich.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Unfortunately I did yesterday. I hate myself for loving shopping, too.

When is the last time you ran?
Probably to cross the street to dodge oncoming cars. I don’t generally run.

What’s the last sporting event you watched?
I don’t watch sports.

Last person’s house you were in?
My sister’s?

Last movie you saw?
The Enforcer (Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry)

Who Is the last person you sent a message to on myspace?
Gary

Ever go to camp?
Science Camp in 6th grade.

Were you an honor roll student in school?
Sometimes. Probably 5 or 6 semesters total, from 3rd grade to 12th grade. I didn’t like homework or studying. And I’m a procrastinator.

Do you like sushi?
Yes! I miss it, I crave it.

Do you have a tan?
Yes

Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Yes.

What is your age?
29. Yikes.

Are you someone’s best friend?
I hope so!

What was the last thing you said?
Bye.

What color is your watch?
Silver. When I wear it.

What do you think of when you think of Australian?
Ben Folds. Because he met someone there and married her.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yes. Despite the fact that I’m a chicken. I’m not too into it now though. Drop Zone? Yeah right.

Favorite gemstone?
Diamonds. Not because I’m materialistic or husband hunting, but because they’re clear and sparkly and I like sparkles. And they match everything. I like onyx and rubies too.

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Usually drive thru. I’m lazy and ashamed of my eating habits.

Do you have a roommate?
Technically yes. I don’t think I’d call him that though.

Do you have any bad habits?
Do you have time to hear about them?

What is your favorite number?
5.

Do you know anyone named Lori?
Yes, I work with her. Why Lori of all things? Did a stalker write this? Or a jilted girlfriend?

What color is your mom’s hair?
Silver?

Do you have a dog?
Not yet.

What happened to you in 1993?
I turned 16, started junior year with mysteriously large breasts, became best friends with Stacy!

Does your first memory involve your dad?
No.

Do you remember singing any songs as kids?
Yes. A lot of songs. I can sing the 50 states alphabetically. Isn’t that special?

When was the last time you went swimming?
I don’t swim.

Has your luggage ever gotten lost?
No. I hope it doesn’t now that I said it hasn’t.

Biggest annoyance in your life right this minute?
The overall inconsideration and selfishness of others.

Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar?
It seems like such a waste.

Do you like watching a bonfire?
Sometimes, I guess.

Are you allergic to anything?
Pollen and mold.

What is one thing you miss about your past?
Total lack of unaccountability.

Do you ever get flu shots?
No

Favorite shoes that you wear all the time?
My cat shoes. They’re dying but super comfortable and I can’t give them up.

What is one thing you’ve learned about life recently?
It doesn’t wait for you to make up your mind.

Are you jealous of anyone?
Envious maybe, but not jealous.

Is anyone jealous of you?
They should be. I’m awesome.

Have you ever tried frog legs?
No.

And the fact that this survey took way longer than expected makes me feel even more loserish for completing it! There’s 34 minutes I’ll never get back. I could have done something significant.