Thursday, September 07, 2006
1:39 p.m.

I hate Natomas. I hate it. I just ran two errands and now I need to kill someone. Can we just flood it already? Jesus.

Why I hate Natomas:

1) It makes me drive like a retard. It makes everyone drive like a retard. Every road has 5 lanes each way, 3 turning lanes, and a gaggle of idiots. These idiots are both in cars and on foot. And don’t even get me started on the parking lots. No one knows where they need to be. Including me. I think I pissed off about 17 people in the last 2 hours. And of course when I finally realized where I needed to go, those 17 people were in front of me, trying to turn, waiting for pedestrians, breaking down, cutting me off, swerving, and running stop lights.

2) The Natomas Villagers are Ghetto. I waited in line for 10 minutes for the ghetto fucks in front of me to haggle over the price of a gift card and ultimately pay with a CHECK. A check? Really? So of course the check didn’t validate right away (because they were ghetto fucks trying to float shit that they don’t have. We’ve all done it.) so the cashier had to call the bank, verify everything, get another employee to come over and help, etc. And let me just mention that the employees aren’t much better. I was greeted by a dude who called me “Ma’am.” Am I a ma’am? How old am I? I don’t think I look like a ma’am. Do you think I look like a ma’am? And the poor girl burdened by the ghetto fucks was starting to panic as her line grew longer and longer, so her performance diminished with each passing second.

3) The stop lights are interminably long. Yes, we’re back to the driving. Because it’s that bad. By the time my light changes, I forget where I’m supposed to be.

4) They have about 4 major strip malls with about a gazillion stores each. How many fucking Targets, Chili’s, Bath & Body Works and Walmarts do we need? Oh and Papa John’s. Seriously.

5) My day has already sucked, Natomas exacerbated it. However I should note that every time I go there, I need an hour to decompress. It’s never a quick, easy trip. I’m all about easy.