Sunday, January 16, 2005
1:35 p.m.

So I was killing time in Arden last night (cuz I have the jet-set life, didn’t ya know?) and I went to Macy’s. I was looking through the sale rack (like I’m really gonna pay $48 for a shirt that says fuckin J.LO? Please.) and noticed that near my feet was a pink and orange pile of chunks that appeared to be vomit. Vomit! I mean, we all know that Arden has been totally ghetto for the last few years, but WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Who does that? And what’s worse, the person who blows chunks and bails, or the lazy-eyed warpainted clotheswhore staff who would rather sit there and argue which is better: magenta or fucshia. Cuz apparently pink is the new black. Needless to say a near-miss of stepping in puke pretty much soured the Macy’s experience for me. So I grabbed my cookie cutter clothes and got the fuck out. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Did I mention the vomit? Well at least it matched the shitty clothes they’re selling…